CROMWELL - When our two daughters let out cries for a family trip to Walt Disney World, my husband and I weren’t sure what to do. It seemed, from talking to other parents online and in the community, that �"everyone goes to Disney.” Three years ago, at a BBQ I hosted, my friend Paul Baldassini, who was dealing with the same plea from his daughter, raised the question, �"Is this some kind of middle or upper middle class right of passage?” Boy, did that statement turn-up the decibels on the party conversation! One thing was clear: My husband and I were not alone in contemplating �"to Disney or not to Disney.”

       At that time, we didn’t see the sense in going to Disney with toddlers and very young children. I know people do it and it boggles my mind. Traveling with diaper bags, bottles, strollers and dealing with fussy kids who need naps is not our idea of vacation. We also didn’t see the sense in going to an amusement park when we would not be able to enjoy the thrill rides together, nor have kids tall enough to ride the kid rides. So, we waited. The initial call of Disney died down, until last October.

       I have to admit, I once believed that the Walt Disney Companyâ„¢ did little more than contribute to the commercialization of childhood. Now, before you die-hard Mouseketeers start throwing virtual stones at me (and I know a few of you already have stones in hand), let me explain how my perspective, the â€�"Disney Mindset,” has changed. Surprisingly, to me at least, this change goes beyond the fact that my children were asking when would our family go to WDW.

      

       Mixed Memories of a Childhood Trip to Disney

       My parents took their three kids to WDW when I was nine or so years old. I remember I was afraid of the Haunted Mansion. My dad took way too many pictures. My brother, four years old and still in a stroller, fussed constantly. My mom was exhausted. I remember being made to sit through shows when I would have preferred to be zooming down Thunder Mountain. I also remember Disney characters coming to see us at tables filled with food, which was as big of a highlight for my Italian father as the characters were for my siblings and me.

       My sister, three years younger than I, was not tall enough for many rides (and, string bean of a kid that she was, she barely weighed enough). And, back in late 70’s, my parents refused to let me ride alone. You know, I might get â€�"park-napped” by some crazed Disney overlord. If Mom or Dad weren’t up for a particular ride, then I was benched. We did not stay at a Disney property so a lot of time was spent in the car, adding to crankiness. Oh, we also drove to Florida that year--from New Jersey.

       My husband, on the other hand, didn’t go to WDW until he was in high school. His student group was only able to explore the Epcot Park. Suffice it to say, neither of us had much to go on when it came to responding to the call of Disney that had taken hold of our two daughters.

      

       Evolution of The Disney Mindset

       This got me thinking about something I have observed as the â€�"Disney Mindset.” Having children is not a requirement to be one with the Disney Mindset. Millions of people visit WDW and collect Disney memorabilia sans kids. The Mindset is something that seems to fall subjectively on a continuum from ‘Disney is Evil’ to ‘Disney Rules the World.’ I knew very well where I started out on this continuum. But how, if at all, had it evolved now that I was a parent of two young girls? Come along; let me tell you a story.

       In college, I wrote papers on the Disney princesses, which, intentionally or not, expected or not, are characters that young girls identify with. I had plenty of literary criticism for Cinderella, Snow White, Aurora and even feisty Tinkerbell, who had no voice in Neverland! What I saw at the end of every story was a man (father, prince, king) who rescued these princesses from whatever predicament they had resigned themselves to. Additionally, most had evil mothers or stepmothers, no mother, and/or a wimpy or absent father. Great family dynamics.

       The original fairy tales were dark tales written with the intention to teach readers about the dangers of the world. The tales also aimed to instill character values to be emulated, such as fairness, love and compassion, while deterring character faults such as envy, greed and dishonesty. In many ways, Disney’s renditions of these stories, beloved as they have always been, made caricatures of the traditional tales. I moved on then and I shall do the same now.

       For the longest time, I gave neither Disney nor its princesses a second thought. Then, I got married. Then, my husband and I had daughters…

       I did not welcome Disney princess dolls (nor Barbie) into our home. I was not going to expose my daughter to â€�"that standard” of beauty and helplessness. I even went as far as to not allow grandparents to give the dolls as gifts. Not, said I, until my daughter was old enough to talk with me about the stories and for her to have some understanding about having choices and making choices--something most Disney female characters either did not have or did poorly. To my great surprise, this moment came when my husband brought home the movie The Little Mermaid for my three-year-old daughter.

       When we watched the film together, I initially saw a depiction of a 16-year-old girl who gave up her special talents, her very voice, to be someone she was not and (gasp!) for the love of a man. I had to make this a teachable moment! To this day, my child understands that she does not give up her â€�"special treasures” for anyone or anything. Recently, we heard our older daughter, through role-playing, teach this lesson to our younger daughter: Little sister’s doll (in the role of daughter) had given away her magical laughter in exchange for being a famous rock star. Older sister, playing the role of the ‘good mother’ (Yes!), scolded younger sister: â€�"I warned you not to give away your talent. Now, look at all the trouble you’ve caused; the whole village is miserable!”

       Children tend to watch Disney films a thousand times over; The Little Mermaid has been no exception. Even when I’m barely paying it any attention, I tend to see something new and vital in the Disney stories. I saw, for example, how Ariel acted like a rebellious teenager; she made impetuous, dangerous choices. That’s a talking point with a pre-teen child.

       I sensed my Disney Mindset shift. I even relaxed my princess doll rule (but Barbie has never gotten a dime from me). It wasn’t just me, though. Perhaps, in response to the call for more realistic and/or relevant storylines, Disney roles for female characters, like that of their human counterparts in Hollywood, have evolved.

       Many interesting, funny, and even serious conversations have been brought into our home because of Disney films like Brave, Cars, Tangled and Frozen. We talk about the choices available to the characters, female and male alike. We wonder how a story might be different if, say, Aurora lived up the street and not in a castle. Or if Merida and her mother would just give each other a chance to talk! And, you gotta love the moment when your kid has no other way of telling you how they feel except to yell, â€�"You’re mean, like Cinderella’s step-mother!”

      

       Answering the Call of Disney

       So, how did we answer the call of Disney? We did decide to book a WDW vacation. We started planning nearly a year out, just to understand the options and the costs. I bought books. The family watched videos. We made sure the kids could ride as many rides as possible. I spoke to many friends and dove into online resources about the parks, where to stay, when to travel. A lot has changed since my 1970’s trip to WDW!

       Thinking back on my friend Paul’s bombshell question, I agree with my friend Jessica Zeedyk, who feels â€�"Disney is not a right of passage because it is not something all families can afford.”

       Without yet having visited WDW, I wish this weren’t true. More than anything, Walt Disney wanted â€�"to provide families with a high quality vacation experience [in which] children and adults could experience a magic that captures your imagination in the most holistic ways possible,” said my good friend Jennifer, whose own extensive Walt Disney World travel led her to a career as an authorized Disney vacation planner.

       The Disney Parks, I realized, provide their guests with an immersion experience into the world of character and story creation, animatronics, and imagineering fantasy to the point where it blurs with reality. Thanks to elaborate DVD special features, my kids already know about green screens, computer-generated imagery (CGI) and set design. They are as excited to meet illustrators and Disney Imagineers as they are about riding the Seven Dwarfs Mine Train and getting character autographs. Experiences like this plant the seeds for possible future careers. I wish there was a way to bring this aspect of the Disney experience out of the park and into the lives of families who might not be able to afford even the airfare to Orlando.

       Our WDW vacation still looms on the horizon. I’m grateful my family can take this vacation…I have no doubt that Disney will take us behind the scenes, into the scenes, and out of real life for while. And…that kind of magic is exactly what Disney does best.

       As for my current Disney Mindset? I’m â€�"Happy to Experience the Magic.” Ask me when I return from vacation, and who knows, I just might say â€�"Let Disney Rule the World”!